Get To Work

This article really made me mad, what the heck!? This woman places so much importance on educated women working and pretty much frowns on them choosing to be a stay at home mom, key word here, CHOICE”! They chose it. Did she ever think that some women might get educated and work to save money for a family? Her comment about being smart and not getting an education in art was awful, my best friend has a BSN in fine arts and she is the smartest woman I know, she is also a stay at home mom and she loves it. I was going to get a degree in fine art so I could be an art teacher but I discovered nursing and realized that was my passion. I was fully aware that I would not make a lot of money but I was prepared to accommodate to that besides I’m not interested in paying way too much for an over rated car or house anyway. The only rule I agreed with her on was the one about having another job before quitting. That is very important, especially in these economic times. I suppose she was trying to get across the importance of educated women staying in their careers but she made it sound like women who did choose to stay home made a stupid decision and I don’t think that’s a bad decision at all (same for men who choose to stay home). If the family can afford it then I see nothing wrong with having a parent home I honestly believe it is the best thing for the children if the family can work it out. There are plenty of educated men and women who choose to be stay at home parents and maybe their education will help then raise their children better, most careers require a person to have the ability to think critically and I can promise you that parents will have to be able to do the same. I also agree that men and women should split the house work, but it doesn’t have to be a competition it should just be something a couple is willing to do. I know I’m not going to marry some jerk that I am fully aware refuses to do any house work they suddenly get mad that he doesn’t. Couples need to discuss this stuff BEFORE they get married so they don’t go into the marriage blind. A career and family are both important, obviously you need money to support your family but if one person can manage to provide that money that it makes more sense for someone to stay home with the kids (if that’s what they want to do). This article had me so made by the time I finished reading it and I don’t even want to be a stay at home mom, but I do believe that the women who choose to stay home should be respected and not put down for that decision.

Another Family

I chose my friend Tahra to interview for the essay because her family is pretty much the opposite of mine. Even with our very different families we have similar goals, such as a desire to become a nurse.Obviously it was not difficult at all for me to find a family. As the assignment was being explained I immediately thought of Tahra.
My family is very different from a lot of families. At first it was very normal, Mom, Dad, Sister and me but it wasn’t healthy so my mom left my dad and we moved to Arizona to be with my Grandparents. My uncle was diagnosed with kidney cancer so he was forced to bring his family to live with us and my grandparents a short time after. The family consisted of my Mom, Grandma, Grandpa, Uncle, Aunt, 3 cousins, Sister, and my Nephew. It was always very crowded and very loud but everyone looked out for each other. We don’t practice organized religion, everyone works but no one has a formal education (when I graduate I will be the first in my family with a college degree), discipline of the children is a shared responsibility. Tahra’s family planned for her education and was able to help her throughout her schooling. Tahra still pursued scholarships and was awarded some based on her desire to become a nurse and her grade point average.
Tahra’s family started as her, her brother and sister and her mom but when she got to high school she got tired of moving around so much and chose to live with her grandparents, so it was just her and her grandma and grandpa. Her grandparents are very traditional, her grandfather did the disciplining but they both worked. Her grandma is a nurse and her grandpa is a successful business owner. They are very religious and go to church every Sunday; they also go to bible studies and youth camp. My family never was able to save for my education so that responsibility is on me as a result I have to work full time and depend on my income as well as scholarships I have earned. I am finally able to enter the nursing program funded fully by scholarships this was something my grandma always encouraged me to do, I wish I would have listened to her when I was in high school.
Even with the differences in our families we still became very close friends. Our families shared the same value of raising us to be strong and successful people. We met in high school and have remained best friends since then. Tahra just graduated with her RN and passed her state boards (YAY!) and I was just accepted into the nursing program. We are still very close friends and very supportive of each other’s goals.
I was very surprised at how much I didn't know about Tahra.During the interview I found out that she is very close with her dad which came as a shock to me because I assumed since he left when she was an infant she wouldn't be. I don't have a relationship with my father (my own choice) and I always assumed she didn't either. I also felt like I had to be careful about the questions I asked regarding her mom because she recently passed away but Tahra offered a lot of answers before I even asked the question. It was interesting writing the paper comparing our families but I didn't have any difficulties doing it.
As far as the Sociologists point of view goes doing this project didn't change my view on anything. I was always very aware that their are many different families out there. It did make me more aware of how sociology is a social science. Obviously it is very different than other sciences such as lab sciences but similar in the way both sciences study a subject and its environment and eventually come to a conclusion based on that and a variety of other factors.

Oh The Joys of Parenthood!

My initial response after reading this article was that I was really surprised not because of the fact that children are not the perfect little things the media makes them out to be but because people didn’t know this. One day I might want to have kids but I know right know isn’t the best time because I’m sure having kids is wonderful but I’m not prepared emotionally or financially. I am only 22 and I know this I can’t believe people who planned on having children didn’t understand that it’s a lot harder than the media makes it out to be.
I am sure the media plays a role in why people think raising children is so easy. Most TV shows and movies show a perfect family with a working dad, a stay at home mom and well behaved children. Maybe it would be easier to raise children if a parent could stay home but in the world we live in today that’s nearly impossible. A lot of children grow up in a single parent home, which adds to the emotional stress of the children and the parent and if they are lucky enough to have both parents they both have to work to support the family, which is also stressful on the children and the parents. The media leaves out all the hard parts of raising children just like the commercials we watched in class, apparently having children changes your life in the best ways possible. I know that having children is a huge responsibility and when I am financially secure, happily married and emotionally prepared I will consider it but I will go into it prepared for hard times and not expect hallmark children.
I agree that all parents should have assistance, especially single parents. Not only is it important for the parents to lessen some of the burden of daily life but it’s important for the children so they have something to do after school or someone to be with. My mom only wanted the best for my sister and I that’s why she left our dad and took on the burden of being a single parent. My sister and I gave her hell and I feel awful for it now but I didn’t know any better when I was younger. All I knew was that I was always stuck watching my sister after school until my mom got home and we couldn’t go out and do things that required money because we just didn’t have any extra money. I feel awful for being such a bratty kid now that I understand what my mom actually had to go through.

The Perils of Playing House

Our society doesn't take cohabitation as seriously as they should, I can say this from experience. Living together should be viewed as a more committed relationship then people in our generation actually see it. I still have some mixed feelings about living together because I really do believe it's a great way to see if you can handle each other, but the stats prove that it doesn't really work. I don't know if I could just move in with someone after our wedding night, what if we couldn't stand each others habits? I still think it's a good idea to move in together when you get engaged but people shouldn't take engagement or moving in lightly, it's very sad but it's something our society is guilty of. People move in together and don't like certain things about each other but they aren't willing to work with each other because they aren't even serious about the relationship. I never understood why people moved in together when they weren't even thinking they wanted to marry each other. It's important to me that both of us take the relationship very seriously before we move in together because I want it to actually work. I'm not one of those people that just move from relationship to relationship and not even care. I have to say that some people don't believe in marriage and they do just want to live together but their views on the relationship is the same as a married couple, they are committed only to each other, they are willing to care for each other when they're sick, they basically view the relationship exactly the same as a healthy married couple. Those people in my opinion make the relationship work but they're very uncommon. Sorry for the short post I just really don't have a lot to say on this subject, I realized I repeated myself a lot……

Marriage at First Sight

At first my emotional response to this article was anger, how could they just choose a life partner for their child? These poor people were missing out on the opportunity to really fall in love, what if their soul mate showed up after their parents had already arranged a marriage? By the end of the article I had thought all of this over and realized these things aren’t realistic. So many people think they’re in love with their soul mate only to find themselves crying to their friends because they’ve been cheated on or dumped and can’t understand why. It’s sad that people are losing touch with their families, the people that care about them most and the only ones who have been there for them when they really needed someone. I agree with the modern arranged marriages, it’s pretty much dating with your family’s help. I am very close with my mom. At first I didn’t want to hear it when she didn’t agree with a relationship I was in, I think as a teenager I even went out of my way to date guys she would hate but now I realize she just wants me to be happy. She spent 13 years of her life in a miserable relationship, she has experience and she knows me better than I know myself. She told me how she felt about my ex once, she let me know that she was there for me and that was it. She never brought it up again. When we finally broke up she cried with me and told me how hard it was for her to accept something that she knew wasn’t right for me and how much she hated that I wasn’t happy but she knew I needed to figure it out for myself and that’s exactly what I did. I wish I could learn from other people’s mistakes but I can’t….It’s like I have to burn myself before I will believe it’s hot and even if a 100 people told me themselves I wouldn’t understand until I had the scar to prove it. I’m still that way the only difference is I’m more aware of it. When I get ready to date again I’m sure I will introduce the person to my mom and ask her what she thinks. It’s important to me that the person I spend the rest of my life with love my family. I wouldn’t let my mom arrange an old school marriage for me but I would def let her arrange a modern marriage.

Love in the Time of No Time

My emotional response wasn’t so much toward the article in general but one of the men that was interviewed, Greg. What a skank! Obviously the only thing on his mind is sex. He is leading this poor woman on, taking her on family events, spending weekends with her but refuses to call her his girlfriend.
I don’t believe that online dating is detrimental to the traditional form of dating. There will always be people who meet in real life situations and decide to go on a date after. There is nothing that will ever stop that. More and more people might turn to online dating because of how convenient it is but not matter how popular it becomes it won’t stop people from living life and going to places like the grocery store, their job, their school or even just for walks at the local park.
I thought online dating was more underground than it actually is. Apparently it’s very acceptable. After reading this article I talked to a few of my girlfriends and they all said online dating was perfectly fine to them and a few of them even had online profiles for dating sites and had actually gone on dates with men from the site. I was so shocked that they never told me about their dates but they all said it wasn’t a big deal to them so it wasn’t something they brought up in conversation.
I do believe online dating works, although I have yet to meet a person who it has worked for. I have read the ads and seen the commercials. It must work if there are so many people using it but it just isn’t for me. If I ever went on a date with someone I met online I would probably just stare at the guy wondering how many woman he had met online before and where he buried them, then I would freak myself out and leave without ever giving him a chance. I realize the way I view online dating is ridiculous but it’s not something I’m worried about. I will just stick to the old fashioned way of dating. :)

The Buddy System

As I read this article I couldn’t stop wondering if these people understood the consequences of “hooking up”. Weren’t they afraid of an unplanned pregnancy or aware of the fact that they can very easily contract an STD through oral sex? I couldn’t believe that they thought that just because it’s oral sex they are safe from those consequences. It was mentioned that hooking up is the norm and it’s perfectly acceptable, I seriously doubt that, it may be accepted with the people they interviewed but I know it wasn’t acceptable when I was in high school, which was around the same time the article was written. I remember the rumors going around about the girls that were “easy”. Those girls were shunned by the other students. I also remember the people who were coupled up. Those people weren’t usually made fun of for being sexually active, so I know hooking up wasn’t something that was acceptable at my high school. I’m sure it’s a problem in some places but it seems these people aren’t very well educated on the consequences of sexual activity.